I have been working on myself quite a bit these last few years. Learning about social dynamics and how people interact with each other. It has been a long process of discovery and the answers I found are not what I expected.
I found this program on the Internet that is supposed to help with the feelings of guilt, shame and fear. I knew it was one that would benefit me greatly. It was at a party one night with some family of a friend that I was living with at the time that I discovered this hidden shame that I had felt for so long. I didn’t recognize it as shame or guilt or anything else. It was just something that I accepted as normal and figured most people had the same feelings.
At that party it was pointed out to me this shame that I had been feeling and it seemed that recognizing it simply showed me the enemy. It was far from defeated. I started reading everything I could find about shame and it wasn’t until recently that I could find a definition that made sense. Shame is rage turned inward. Likewise, guilt is anger turned inward.
After using the product for many weeks, I feel like I have a good understanding of the effects of using it and so I wanted to write a review for it. Below is my review.
I’m writing this review of “Overcoming Guilt, Shame and Fear” on my 96th day of usage. I started back on February 19th and have listened to it every night while sleeping getting at least 8 hours of usage per day. I’ve been thinking about how I would write my review for the last few days and nothing really came to mind until this morning. A story to show how much this has impacted my life popped into my mind.
It was March 23rd and I was flying back to New York City to start my new job on Monday. There was a lot going on in my mind at the time. I basically dumped the contents of my car off in my apartment and hit the road back to Kansas City as fast as I could. I was coming back to an apartment with no furniture that had a lot of work before it was ready to be livable.
It is funny to think that such a situation would cause me little fear but what happened on the way back was much different. I was sitting in St. Louis waiting for my flight and so I grabbed a seat to wait for my flight. After a while a cute girl came and sat at the seat one over. I was thinking about what I could say to start a conversation and my mind starting flooding with fears. What should I say? What if she doesn’t like it?
Looking back these thoughts did not help me at all. They simply clogged my mind and didn’t allow me anything useful to think about. Then something even worse happened. An even cuter girl sat right next to me. I knew from all my studying of body language that she had some level of interest in me but I still couldn’t think of what to say. My mind was still flooded with thoughts like “You have a great opportunity! You better not screw it up!”
Needless to say, I didn’t start the conversation. To add insult to injury, the two girls started their own conversation. I think the situation felt worse because I knew I was better than that. I had been working on myself so long just to not say anything.
The contrast today is much different. As I’m sitting in the airport waiting for my flight to Banson, I have already talked with 4 or 5 people including two cute girls. My mind isn’t clogged with wasteful thoughts of screwing up or failing. It is filled with constructive thoughts that allow me to be the man I want to be.
I’m am truly grateful to have access to such a product. It has helped me in ways that I could not have imagined. It is amazing how much I was getting in my own way before and how much clearer my thinking is now. I highly recommend this product to anyone that thinks they would benefit.