Approach Reflections, Part 2

The second question I posed last time was this. How do I change my choices in dating? This question has bothered me for quite a while. There is no simple, easy answers. It also begs another question. What am I selling? Dating is about selling yourself to someone else. Unfortunately in this business, it is always personal.

One of the things that this journey has taught me is that it is okay to work on yourself. For the longest time I had the belief that I should have come into this world knowing what I needed to know about personal relationships. The truth is that most people don’t know and just ignore the problem. It was such an eye opening experience to see how much is available for us.

The reason I bring this up is because we are selling ourself. A great way to make that an easier sell is to sell a better product. Self-improvement leads to two major benefits in my opinion. First, you gain enlightenment in whatever area you are seeking to improve. The second thing you gain is confidence about yourself as a person.

This confidence leads to you valuing yourself as a better person. It is important to value yourself highly because when someone first meets you, you tell them how to value you. I did a podcast with my good friend Logan about the subject and you can find it here [What’s It Worth to You?].

So, how do I change my choices in dating? This leads into one thing I learned all too well with my approaches. You have to find people that share common interests with you. I did a lot of approaches at the mall and it was really hard to find things in common with the girls I approached. The reason was that I didn’t shop much. I wouldn’t have been at the mall if I wasn’t doing approaches.

You have to set yourself up for success or you will never make it. If I want to have something in common with the girls I approach, then I must put myself in situations where I have those same interests as the girls around me. It involves getting out into the community and discovering those things that you never knew you liked.

Instead of going to the mall, I’m living the life I want and finding the girls that just happened to be in the same place. It makes it much easier to do the approaches and I can actually build meaningful relationships. I find it much more profitable.

Although this won’t get you a huge social circle with lots of girls to choose from, it will get you more girls that enjoy the same things that you do. I’ve found meetup.com is a great place to get started. You can browse for things that you find interesting and join.

As I end this article, I want to say that I don’t have all the answers in the area of life. I am still searching for those answers. Please feel free to comment on any experience that you have as I’m sure all of us would love to hear about them.

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